happy thoughts:
For Thursday photo day at Create a Connection we were asked to think happy thoughts. Angels immediately come to mind.
Angels be with you,
Wendy

The Colour of Me:
The questions for CaC's Wednesday "getting to know you" were about colour. I wrote a poem and put it together with a picture. These were the questions:

What color best expresses who you let other people see you to be?

What color best suits the real you you know is deep inside of you?

Do the colors match, or do you need to learn to be more comfortable being yourself too?

Why do you think that color expresses you well? Would your better half agree??

The Colour of Me
all about me
colour

within
yet more

if asked
about the colour of me
I’d think
on all the colours
I’d wonder what others see
the colour of me
I think blue

do they know me
very well

they’d see ~
those
the colour brown
very rich
dark chocolaty
brown
ever flowing
smooth
much
worth savouring

brown
rich colour of me

Those Crazy Kids... for photo Thursday at CaC

Our daughter Cat at breakfast this morning:



Our kitten Blue at the same time:



And our dog Billy who loves to be playful at any opportunity possible. I should learn from him:



I also want to share this day a very special video I found which is meant especially for Melba but I think we can all be inspired by it.

Angels be with you.

On yesterday's CaC "getting to know you day", Helene had questions about:

Magick and Freedom in the Writing world.

I'd thought to write a story but as usual I lost time. Here are my responses:

1)Do you feel that immense Freedom in the writing world? can you write about anything?

Yes, I absolutely feel freedom in the writing world. I’m not sure that I could write about anything. I prefer to write about that which I know, that which I feel. I was asked to write a piece specifically for someone. That seemed more like homework. If I choose to write specifically for someone, that is much better.

2)Do you feel safer in the writing world or are you at ease too with speaking?
what is the difference for you?

I am somewhat at ease with speaking, have done presentations, but I feel much more comfortable with expressing myself in writing. I’m not so great at instant comebacks. I tend to “stick my foot in my mouth” quite often. I do much better when I have time to think more about what I want to say. I have done readings sometimes but that is different because I’ve had time to think about what I am going to say to go with the readings.

3)Can you travel thanks to writing?

Yes, I am able to do that but haven’t taken much opportunity to do so. To this time I’ve mostly written about experiences and my thoughts. I want to get much more into fiction. That’s down the path. I do love to use metaphor and personification. It slips out sometimes without my realizing. That brings me joy.

4)Do you re-create another world, or another self in the writing?is it an escape or a way to dream?to find some peace of mind?

I don’t think I’ve really taken opportunity to do that very much but after reading Helene’s French posse piece I am inspired to re-create another world. I do sometimes enjoy reading fantasy and have just barely started in January a fantasy piece. It was set aside. I’ll return to it.

I started therapeutic writing about three years ago. It has greatly benefited me in coming to a place where I am more comfortable with myself. The words just seemed to flow from me. I think now I get more peace of mind through my visual art and combining words with the visual art. That’s a very good thing for me as I still have this battle with depression and self-esteem levels. It’s not quite the same now, but creativity seems to make a huge difference. Also, my helpers, professional types, are not as available to me, so it’s great I’ve discovered healing through creativity.

5) Can you write about your secrets to feel better when you need to share?( either in blogs or private diaries)

Yes, there are some things I can write about on my blog when I need to share. I’m not sure I would call them secrets. I’ve never really kept a diary that I felt comforted by – such a pity. I probably would have felt much more comfortable about myself, my diabetes, my feelings, if I had been guided through a writing journey. Emotions were not something to be readily shared when I was growing up. That’s ok. I grew up in a very loving and supportive family. I think my parents and the people who were close to me just wanted me to be happy but they didn’t really know what would have been best to help me to that avenue. I do feel blessed that they allowed me the many avenues and encouragement they did.

6)Are there things you would never write?(in your diaries or in blog etc)

This fits together with the piece about secrets. I have written some pieces which I have shared with only a very few people. I have not shared them with a more general audience because of the sensitivities of other people regarding their own capabilities, journeys. But I did write about them.

Regarding myself, I feel it is much better to talk (write) about how I feel and things I’ve experienced in the possibility it might help someone else. At readings I’ve done, where I’ve talked about depression and low self-esteem, I’ve had people come to me afterwards and tell me that’s exactly how they’ve felt. They were grateful. I also know for certain that I drew one person back to writing that had not done it for many years even though he has a degree in writing.

7) have you ever done Ghost writing, it's like role playing with letters or emails?
would you be interested in this?

I’m not sure if I’ve ever done it. I don’t think so. I think it would be fun. Would the recipient know it is role-playing and know who wrote it? I think it might be tricky for me to keep my whereabouts secret but I believe it could be very much fun.

8)Would you write about your fantasies or keep them in your mind, because it's too secret and private to share?

Hmmmm, I think I’ll keep the answer to myself. ; )

9) would you feel safer to write a blog if you were anonymous?

I don’t think it would make any difference to me. I am often too open and willing to share but maybe that’s a good thing.

10)Do you believe that being anonymous increase the freedom of writing?or do you feel that then maybe you are not seen and heard in your complete real self?

I feel to a large extent I would not be seen for my complete, real self. A friend of mine feels I’ve my own style of writing. I think if anyone knew me very well they would recognize the writing. Once I start doing more fiction I’m not sure that will hold true, but I suspect it would still be apparent.

11) What is writing to you?

To me words reach levels of my soul that would otherwise be inaccessible. The ability to write and therefore dig deeply within, allows so much freedom. There’s a saying that “a picture paints a thousand words”. To me that saying is so unrealistic. If someone believes that, then how many pictures would a story paint? We are all unique, extremely individual. With every grouping of words put into our brains we each envision something a tiny bit different. There will be common themes, common ideas of focus, but our past experiences and knowledge will allow us to paint that picture in its own very individual way. To me, that is richness at the highest level.

See also this poem from a few years ago which I recently posted at my other blog.

For CaC : getting to know you day:
The Infamous Proust Questionnaire:

* Your most marked characteristic?
sensitive
* The quality you most like in a man?
sensitivity
* The quality you most like in a woman?
angels wings
* What do you most value in your friends?
sensitivity
* What is your principle defect?
too sensitive
* What is your favorite occupation?
artist
* What is your dream of happiness?
To have many angels dancing all around me (hmmm, I’ve captured for a brief moment)
* What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
I don’t want to go there – I can’t find any humor in it whatsoever
* What would you like to be?
More humorous
* In what country would you like to live?
Canada
* What is your favorite color?
blue
* What is your favorite flower?
delphinium
* What is your favorite bird?
I love birds – doves, bluebirds, robins, wrens, chickadees
* Who are your favorite prose writers?
Luanne Rice, Sue Monk Kidd, Michael Ondaatje, Bryce Courtenay
* Who are your favorite poets?

Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without words,
And never stops at all.
Emily Dickinson

I thank God for most this
amazing
day; for the leaping greenly
spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;
and for everything
which is natural, which is
infinite, which is yes.
e. e. cummings

* Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
My mind’s drawing a blank
* Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?
Blank again
* Who are your favorite composers?
Pachelbel
* Who are your favorite painters?
Ummm – not really into the history piece - who was it that painted the ballerinas? (I never actually studied art.) Maybe I can say two from the very present - Misty Mawn and Susan Tuttle. (both recently refound in Somerset Studio)
* Who are your heroes in real life?
all the angels, Suze, Mary Ann, Fran, Nance, Jude, Stephen, Stacey, Darcy, and Debra (to name only a few)
* Who are your favorite heroines of history?
ummm
* What are your favorite names?
Jacqueline, Francesca, Jennifer, Katherine, Genevieve
* What is it you most dislike?
Hatred, prejudice
* What historical figures do you most despise?
Hitler and all his buddies
* What event in military history do you most admire?
Ummmmm
* What reform do you most admire?
abolishment of slavery
* What natural gift would you most like to possess?
To find, even if tiny, a touch of laughter in the face of (any) adversity, be it large or small
* How would you like to die?
With good mental faculties & with my daughter and husband holding my hands
* What is your present state of mind?
frustrated - best not to ask why
* To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
Procrastination - she grins - trying to look at it usually as play time. If I’m going to do it - procrastinate - I might as well enjoy it.


Here are a couple of examples of yesterday's procrastination, photopaint on fractals























* What is your motto?
Not certain this would be called a motto, but it’s what I try to live by:
"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk being called sentimental. To reach out to another is to risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self. To place your ideas and your dreams before them is to risk being called naive. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair, and to try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing and becomes nothing. He [or she] may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he's forfeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free."
Dr. Leo Buscaglia

favourite photo: for Thursday photo day (a bit late as usual) at CaC - difficult choice to choose from the past four months plus but I am drawn back to this spring composition photo which Molly just reminded me of when she found the "our house" set at my flickr
Have a great weekend and, as always, angels be with you.

Layers for Thursday photo day at CaC: The first thing that came to mind when I saw, actually late last night, the theme for today, was onions. Lorna Crozier's poem called Onions actually came to mind. More so, however, I was self absorbed yet and thinking about how I was told that as I tried to go through therapies and get past my anxiety, bad stress, that it would almost be like peeling away layers of an onion. Hmmm. I'm not certain how I feel about that anology. Perhaps I'm afraid that some important layers might be peeled away in the process. OK Wendy - just breathe and let it happen. I will get past those fears.

Hands: This is my hand holding treasures. I love to pick up things I see along the path - be it our farm road, or a beach by some beloved ocean. The words - speak for themselves.
photo Thursday at CaC

From Wednesday getting to know you at CaC:

1. question #255 - If you had to change your first name, what would you choose as your new name?

This is tough to answer. I love the name Jennifer but I have so many friends with that name I couldn’t. I wouldn’t feel unique then. My parents were going to call me Karen instead of Wendy. Some people have actually called me Karen when they are talking to me. I also love our daughter’s name. I guess that’s why she has it. Some people have actually called me by her name too. She has very strong spirit and is so charismatic that people often feel her presence so closely when in my company, it just happens. I don’t mind. I feel honoured. I have felt so very much a part of her too, even though she’s adopted.

For the sake of expediency I’ll say Bryn. I started writing a story about Bryn and her twin sister at Christmas time. She is a young soul trying to find her mother angel and in the process will also find her own angel spirit.

2. question #158 - What is your favorite saying, quote, or expression?

"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk being called sentimental. To reach out to another is to risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self. To place your ideas and your dreams before them is to risk being called naive. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair, and to try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing and becomes nothing. He [or she] may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he's forfeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free."
Dr. Leo Buscaglia

3. question #49 - If you could buy any rare collection in the world, which would you choose? Why?

If I could buy any rare collection in the world I would buy a rain forest anywhere in the world where there are endangered species, some as yet unidentified. I’d share it with the world, yet take every step possible to protect every single being within its boundaries.

4. question #1 - If you could fly in a hot-air balloon over any city in the world, what city would you choose? Why that city? Have you visited there before?

I would choose Nairobi, Kenya. I would choose it because it is so close to Tanzania where so many wonderful creatures live. Yes, I’ve been to Nairobi. We were visiting some wonderful friends that were working as missionary teachers in a community outside of Nairobi. We visited their home and community. It was an adventure. We went on two safaris, which I loved. Some of the people in our group did a hot air balloon trip. If I recall it was the cost that was prohibitive for us. Some day…

And actually those same friends are celebrating their “100^th” birthday on Saturday. They live only a few kilometers from us now. (They both turn 50 this year, as do Greg and I)

5. question #221 - What is an item you own that has a minimal monetary value but has such sentimental value that you would not sell it for $5,000?

Another tough question as I’m not really into material things. I guess I could say my Bible. I’ve had it for many years. There are places that are underlined, many that are marked. The cover is coming loose. I don’t really stop to think about it often but it means a great deal to me.

Job requirement: solitude - see windyangelsandyou

SPRING: To me spring is lots about new life. It's about waiting for green - a colour I love. It's about rebirth. Pussy willows represent all of these things. It will be a few weeks probably until the trees actually have green leaves but as we drive creekside I can imagine, or maybe really see, a shimmering of green by those trees. Regardless of how many more times it will snow in the next days, how many more hours before the water runs in the creek (it's there but frozen right now), I know the green will return. These pussy willows are the promise for that.

My photo for create a connection Thursday photo day.

Found - treasure chest: After the meeting was finished yesterday I told Greg I needed to go downtown a bit. He commented that there'd be time to pick up the mail yet - 4:50 p.m. allowed ten minutes. Surprise, surprise - there was a great huge parcel for me. Though it was expected, it was not. Pauline, "sweet memories", had sent me a package for the CaC swap for March. My goodness - what a treasure box I found. Pauline, you are such a sweetheart. There were vintage pieces, so many papers, pictures, embroidery cottons, threads, buttons, the beautiful vintage postcard, one of my favourites from the package, a wonderful journal, the box everything was found in, fabrics, pom-pom trim, dangly bead trim. And the list goes on and on.
A connection has certainly been created. I have received many items that are very appropriate for altered books. Hmm, too bad I have so many WIPs, including the disastrous cleaning of that space for a studio. However, when I think about it, I am acquiring so many lovely presents - I NEED A SETTING IN WHICH TO DISPLAY THEM. Onward and upward.
To view the individual photos and to get a larger view please go to my flickr site.

Angels be with you.

Thursday, photo day (for CaC) - OK, OK - I know it's Saturday but I just can't keep up here. AND I want SO MUCH, SO VERY,VERY MUCH, because I love the idea to make a spirit doll, BUT it may not happen for a few Sundays. What can I do? I am trying hugely to not stress so much, so maybe I just need to get things done when I can. Hmmm, maybe I can make today's project quickly, and have it done for next Saturday. It's a dream jar. I need one of those.

For photo Thursday I've taken a photo, or a couple, of something I treasure. It is this beautiful turquoise bowl which our niece, god-child, made for us for Christmas a couple of years ago. DH gave me what-not about the photo of the back. I had to. It's beautiful too and part of why I treasure this piece. It has TW's initials. I'm so proud that she has my name for her middle name. In some waays TW and I are very alike. In some ways we are very different. We both love blue and we are both artistic. She's frustrated that she doesn't have time now to be creative much but she's got a full time job as a prison guard and is also starting a new (reasonably) relationship. My prayers are with her especially on that. We love each other very much and are very good friends.

"getting to know you day" from CaC:

1a. What is one thing about your body that you hate, deny, talk trash about?

I think I’d have to say that I hate my shoulders. Not only are they ALWAYS way up by my ears, resulting in almost chronic shoulder pain, but they are kind of big and bony. My dream would be for them to be relaxed and sitting softly at my side so that I hardly notice them there at all. I actually experienced this a couple of times about six or seven years ago after I’d visited our naturopathic Dr. for the first time and he’d done some quantum treatment for stress. I imagined it was something like heaven. I wish I could return to that state.

1b. What can you do to make friends with this part and show it a little love?

I obviously need to try to relax more often, probably get more sleep on a regular basis and remember to laugh more and smile more and breathe more deeply - not so shallowly. I need to worry less. I need to be more gentle with myself. I could try to use the word “could” more often instead of the word “should”. Thanks to my friend Carol for that advice.

2a. What is one thing about your home that doesn't feel good?

It doesn’t feel good that there is so much clutter, nearly everywhere. It is particularly bad in the basement. Much of the clutter is in relation to the fact that I am trying to play in the area of mixed media and haven’t quite discovered in which specific area I want to concentrate. The fact that all three of us are collectors of stuff, doesn’t really help either.

2b. What is one thing you can do to change that?

I have had spurts of energy and blocks of time in which I have been able to do some major purge and organization. I’ve had garage sales in which I have made quite a lot of money through the sales. I know I can do more organization but will probably wait until the spring (may be another six weeks, but it WILL arrive) when I am feeling stronger and more cheery. I have one room in the basement almost cleared and ready to set up a bit of a studio. Yes! I know I can do it. I also have a bright shower curtain, from a second hand store, to hang in front of the closet (with no doors), an old green cupboard, and a huge table to go in the room. I know it will happen.

3a. Is there a relationship that you have difficulty with?

Right now the relationship with our daughter continues to be difficult. She is a teenager and also has difficulties with social skills because of challenges she has. The school and others have been working with her regarding the social skills but she went into a much larger school this year when she started high school. They are not as familiar with her and the program is not as specialized as it had been. Some of the things she has most difficulty with are understanding her own non-verbal communications and her tone of voice. She tends to come across as super critical of me. My own sensitivity allows for me to feel easily hurt.

3b. What is something small you can do to either salvage it or come to terms with the way it is now?

Methods of coping and accepting are on going. I could try to remember she is a teenager and emotions can flare regardless. I could try to build my own self-esteem and take more lightly her criticisms. I could try to be more positive with her and provide even more compliments, while trying to ask her opinion more often. We could try to have more fun with each other and laugh more often.

4a. Is there something you are afraid to do, but would like to try it?

I am afraid to try selling my art, to open an “etsy’ shop, even though I would really like to.4b. What can you do to begin a plan to try it? I can put together pictures of the items I do have. I can determine how much postage would cost. I can try to establish a bit more of an inventory. It would probably also help to join carfac and communicate with someone there about pricing and study their website to learn more about on-line business. I could review etsy to learn more about prices of similar items.

The photo is of me and our daughter "Cat".

Loving the idea of a spirit doll and hoping to have time to make one in next few days as suggested on CaC. In the meantime I checked my name from "quiz farm". I like Anastasia though it gave me the name Sylvia. I'm not certain that I could be called "truly a free spirit' but that is certainly what I would dream of - as obviously reflected in my results

You scored as Sylvia. Your name is Sylvia, and it means : Of The Woods, or Nature. You love to be outdoors, surrounded by creation and animals. Flowers are the sweetest perfume the world could know, and you love animals and plants. Your spirit is somewhat 'flower child' in the respect that you would rather spend time outdoors under the sky than anywhere else. You are truly a free spirit.

What Is Your Secret Name ( girls only )
created with QuizFarm.com