Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Pretending to be an artist: Serendipity fluttered by the other day. I shed a tear before she even was so close. I'd experienced her before ~ life altering. As expected, she landed on my heart and her wings fluttered on my soul. As quickly, she was gone. http://www.theahaexperience.com/poster.htm

I have stated that I pretend to be an artist. That is how I feel. Everything I do as an artist is self-taught. I have taken some workshops. I have done some projects from magazines and the internet but if I were to say anyone taught me I would probably say it was God. Mostly the projects have been frustrating. Mostly I HATE following a pattern. I like to create my own thing. You are probably thinking that is a good thing. I would agree. But there are problems. There is the time factor. There is the space factor. There is the materials factor. Mostly there are the factors of fear and procrastination. There is the fear that no one will like what I do. There is the fear that even if they like it they won't tell me. There is the fear of that beast ~ criticism. Because I am so sensitive I have a hard time wrapping my finger around that piece. And then the vicious circle starts of people being afraid to tell me what they think because they know I am so sensitive. GRRRR. Why do humans have to be this way!
Sometimes I feel like it's too much fun. I feel like a child while I'm cutting and gluing and taping and colouring. It is too much like play.
Other times I worry about copyright. Will someone suspect that I am copying their art? I used to only feel comfortable with copying from other's work. Still, I feel afraid to let my mind and hands move freely. To copy from my own photos with pencil or dare I even say paint, feels like cheating. To modify my photos on the computer also tastes of cheating. Ahhh ~ what peculiar ideas.

What of serendipity? She asked me to feel free to create. She asked me to let my thoughts fly freely. She asked me to just relax with what I am capable. She asked to let my spirit soar when I have achieved. She asked me to not give up. She asked me to not stop trying.


Nancy Baumiller said...

Ahh a kindred spirit! I will tell you something I told a friend of mine...If you create art therefore you are an artist! :) We all have a need to play even as adults...so forget about growing up and live one childhood at a time! Enjoy the process of art and just play! We were all born with wings we just have to learn how to use them! And btw I hate following patterns too...wheres the creativeness in that lol...I am a self-taught artist too...I paint on magazine paper and recycle just about anything...Let the art flow and just play darlin'! :) I hear you!:)

windyangel said...

Oh, thanks for hearing me. Always great to find a kindred spirit. I actually love to play. I become very sad when I don't have the time for it.
Cool! Painting on magazine paper. We're heavy into recycling. I would never have thought of that though. I can hardly wait to try it.

Suzie Q said...

Kindred spirits! I love how you put my thoughts into words, Wendy! :)
Serendipity ~ I love that word, it's what I called my pretend business when I had to come up with a business plan as part of a course I did years ago. A lovely name it would be for that little tea shop...:)
I'm so glad Nancy has found you too, she is an inspiration! Can't wait to see what you come up with on the magazine paper! Play on....

Susan Reynolds said...

I so hear you! Keep working, keep making art, keep being inspired by ideas. You make art - you're not pretending, you're doing.

the gift of time


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