Pretending to be an artist: Serendipity fluttered by the other day. I shed a tear before she even was so close. I'd experienced her before ~ life altering. As expected, she landed on my heart and her wings fluttered on my soul. As quickly, she was gone. http://www.theahaexperience.com/poster.htm

I have stated that I pretend to be an artist. That is how I feel. Everything I do as an artist is self-taught. I have taken some workshops. I have done some projects from magazines and the internet but if I were to say anyone taught me I would probably say it was God. Mostly the projects have been frustrating. Mostly I HATE following a pattern. I like to create my own thing. You are probably thinking that is a good thing. I would agree. But there are problems. There is the time factor. There is the space factor. There is the materials factor. Mostly there are the factors of fear and procrastination. There is the fear that no one will like what I do. There is the fear that even if they like it they won't tell me. There is the fear of that beast ~ criticism. Because I am so sensitive I have a hard time wrapping my finger around that piece. And then the vicious circle starts of people being afraid to tell me what they think because they know I am so sensitive. GRRRR. Why do humans have to be this way!
Sometimes I feel like it's too much fun. I feel like a child while I'm cutting and gluing and taping and colouring. It is too much like play.
Other times I worry about copyright. Will someone suspect that I am copying their art? I used to only feel comfortable with copying from other's work. Still, I feel afraid to let my mind and hands move freely. To copy from my own photos with pencil or dare I even say paint, feels like cheating. To modify my photos on the computer also tastes of cheating. Ahhh ~ what peculiar ideas.

What of serendipity? She asked me to feel free to create. She asked me to let my thoughts fly freely. She asked me to just relax with what I am capable. She asked to let my spirit soar when I have achieved. She asked me to not give up. She asked me to not stop trying.